Today I got a Sponser. My first month of sobriety was very easy. Now, with my two month date just a couple days away, I am struggling more and more. Chocolate and I are in a constant battle of wits and I seem to be losing terribly. It was very scary and difficult to admit that I truly and honestly can't stay sober on my own. I have been refusing help for so long in most areas of my life that it became comfortable. I knew I could count on myself to get things done "right". Other people just proved to be disappointing and untrustworthy. Thoughts and feelings like that have become my norm. With my alcoholism however, I had to admit that I can't handle staying sober by myself.
I guess what a good friend told me yesterday is true. He said," You know you're human, right?" Damnit. However difficult that was for me to admit to myself, I am extremely grateful for being able to find the strength to ask for help. It's okay to need it. Another lesson learned.
Strength and Love,
Sadie
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